A lil memories,happiness n sorrow of now...

Can't believe i've been passing a lot of hours and days and months with you.

Can't believe i've been sharing the same roof,pillow n bed with you now.

Things pass fast.Although we together not so long,but the fresh memories

of us together was still with me.I remember seeing you in school,in the

very old classrooms,in a very boring situation when the teacher

walk in n start his lecturer,just like the world was only him understand.

I remember seeing you once a week only,because u're only taking

Accounting course...you were there sitting 2 rows behind me sometimes.

is either with a guy or a girl.

And sometimes,u were sitting alone over the corner.

Hehhehehee...Although we never sit together anyway,cos i have

a bestie beside me,no...is 3 bestie....

i guess we r the most 'gelojoh' group cos Winnie ate a lot during class.

hahahahahaa...

What the year again back then?errr....recall....

Its December 2008-May 2009 classes if im not wrong.

Cos we officially talking to each other was on October 2009.

Cos i remember that is during my break up times,and Winnie invited

everyone to share the unhappy moment in Firefly with me.

So u were there.That's the first time we actually say HI . and get to

know each other..... Fate actually bring us well ....

When i did couple back with Mr.D,and when the misunderstood happen

between me n his family,causing us to separate,

And thts where u were...with me all the times....

I still remember we hang out when im sad,u were like my "crabbie"

protecting me under ur shell....when i was not in the mood,

I joined a girl in club,u were there telling me no,cos u know the girl

wasn't the right one i should join...when i get back to ur table,i remember

u hold me tightly...u wanna keep me safe....and got once,when u drunk,

i told u that ur fren did held me,u were not happy,i can see from your face

and i know why....cos u were the protective type...

One day,out of the blues,u were asking me can i officially be ur gal...

well,thts the day we started....and its been a years passed by now...

almost 2 years we've been together...

{ i guess this is the 1st picture we took together }

we were just friend at this time :)

The night during CNY 2010 we clubs.

Erm,havent my bf yet :)

{ the 1st pic we taken when im officially your gal }

i realise you look handsome after we dated! *winks! love potion???*

Today,i'm a happily married woman with you.

Although times were tough for us,im willing to share everything with you.

Although some stupid books did say prophecy of our relationship was

not that good,some even says if we married,we will have wealth problems,

some even says we r not destinated together....I really dont care much...

sometimes,i did feel sad when i hear about this,but.....

i don't bow my head to destiny(命运).

I felt that destiny is under my hand...i able to control it...

books was dead,ppl was alive,why should i trust the stupid prediction

and let go my one good relationship....?

If i really had done the best for my love one,but i doesn't seems to be

appreciate one day,then i lose also felt it's worth....

Because i know i've try my best to keep a good relation.

We did have a lot of arguement before,the sadness and sorrow always

happen between us....everyday i wish for a better tomorrow,

everyday i wish you weren't giving me any shit faces when u just

wake up from the bed(been disturbed tht 1) ,everyday i wish

u were a happily man,everyday i wish your work was success,

everyday i wish we weren't in an arguement for something

thats not worth.....and everyday i wish you sleep beside me...

Say real,im a sensitive woman..well,i believe every woman are sensitive.

I'm trying to equalize my sensitive so you couldn't actually feels it..

I'm trying to keep you happy,giving u all the smiling face,I'm trying

to match everything up with you so you wouldn't feel bored to have

me by your side...im living to your expectation more than my own expectation.

Something bad happen lately to my work place.

I've been meeting human matters so toughfully

Stress til nowhere to go,i actually went home crying.

Saying about something happens lately,

did u realise when is the time i actually needs you?

Did u know why when im stress up with job,n i only can cry when i went home?

And you were there nagging at me when i cry?

Did u know that actually what i need was a shoulder to lay on and some

nice words instead of your rude face asking me why i cry again?

I know u feel useless because u feel when the time i've been bully in the office,

you cant do anything...u wanna protect me but u just dun knw how....

or .... i can say you HATE girl crying in front of u....

what can i do actually ? Crying in front of other guy instead of crying in front of u?

Is that what u want ?

Or u were hoping i grew a bit stronger n tougher instead of crying like a small kid

who drop a sweet?

If im there to grew stronger n tougher , im meeting your expectation in this,

i dun think that time you will like my attitude in solving my problems.

I dont think u enjoying that you were actually having a superwoman beside

you that can settle emotionally and physically by herself.

Maybe tht time,u will think why am i so strong,and why i seems dont need

you beside me anymore....

Sometimes i really don't know what to do...gasping for breathe..

I just want a person to be by my side cheering me up when i cry..

because my job wasn't treating me good..been bully always...

couldn't resign because i need to settle my debts first...

but no one understand....you ask me to resign,but...

i dun wanna burden you..i know you dun wan me been bullied

everyday,but if i resign,you will need to bared all my expenses...

its not that im saying you're weren't capable to bared,

but it's just too burdening ... its not about hundreds,its bout thousand...

im not an emotional person when it comes to the matter of

burdening other ppl.....Im not a mama girl that when i got bullied,

i can throw letter and dont work n let my mama pay off all my debts...

thts y all i can do is just fight back the person who bully me,

and if i been more torture,i only can go home n cry........

i know im weak :(

anyway.

I really wish i could run after May12 next year

and there's no more rainy days for me

It's been tough for facing all the tears by myself

over the pillows,under the blankets,and even

inside the bathroom

I super need a shoulder to lay on sometimes.

And,

I super need your cares and loves.....

Instead of nagging me "Why you cry again!"

Im crying in front of the guy i love,cos i only show everything to him.....

I'm a tough girl in front of my family n friends anyway

I would rather show them the smiley face instead

of sadness when i go out with them...

I guess,my previous lover know quite well about me on this matter

cos he's the ONLY one who always see me crying

back in 7 years time.

I really hope you could understand.

I cry not because im weak,and i do not cry to everyone beside me

Cos i don't need everyone to lend me a shoulder n telling me not to cry

I just need to show Who Am I when with you cos i know in front of you

i actually no need to pretend im TOUGH enough

It's a simple reason why i cry everytime.
I dont want to be fake in front of my love one

If im so fake,there's no place for me to show my REAL face though.

Just sharing here.........been meeting quite a lot of "human matters"
in my job lately...just don't know y my boss so like me to "lick her butt"
so she wouldn't take me to scold for the rest of the day...

* Qi-Er *